Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
