some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I believe in your delicious
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
