good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so let's talk penis.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
