There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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