its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
