I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
