from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
