I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
