He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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