This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
