she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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