You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
