god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
