Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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