Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I could make wine with my vomit
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
