just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
