i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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