bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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