problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
