Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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