Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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