remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
