the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
