WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
