my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
