this boner is exhausting
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
