Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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