I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
