So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize