How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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