....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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