omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
