Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
