i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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