brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
