Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
