How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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