He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
