Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
