peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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