she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
