she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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