A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
