I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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