Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
