do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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