i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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