O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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