my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
