At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
smell my finger.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
