are you still at the devil's house?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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