my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
