Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
