I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize