just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's blow job season.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
