At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
