Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
