Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
