I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize