youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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