can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
