I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
