did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he thought i was a dude.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
