somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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