Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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