you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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