I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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