I want to walk on stilts...naked
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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