But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
