So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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